with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
I just tried to drunkenly fart the beat of Disturbia by Rihanna
Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
i wanna give whoever invented massage chairs a blow job.
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
You know it's been a good thanksgiving when you pee all over your own hands.
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
Got too starbucks. 3out of the 4 girls working i have ducked and haven't ever called. My coffee has dick written on it. It may contain spit by pumpkin lattes are only once a year
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
It's Valentine's Day, I figure for sure we'll have sex today, right? Wrong. I tried unsuccessfully for like an hour to get him to fuck me. Now he's asleep and I'm on my way to join the public library.
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
If she didn't have scissors in her hand I would have motor boated the fuck out of her when she was done cutting my hair.
Randomize