Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
I don't remember. Are we still dating?
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
he asked me to put his condom on because he couldn't see without his glasses
i left him drunk and in the fetal postion in the shower.
was the water running?
yeah but he said he knows how to swim
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
This is part your fault too. Don't tell me your dishes are unbreakable and not expect me to prove you wrong.
I vaguely remember you trying to make me a casserole with marshmallows and a can of beer.
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week
He fell asleep during FOREPLAY. Sober!!!
Im outta here as soon as my phone charges wtf
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
Let me know if you need some dick this weekend.
Between the BF being in town, partying at the Side Dick’s house tonight and two Tinder dates tomorrow I’ve got dick to spare!!
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