there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
Girls behind me in the library are trying to outslut each other with stories from last semester. I'm about to set my cock on the table between them and label it "tie breaker"
So I made him an imaginary sandwich and told him that the day I didn't have to fake it, neither would he.
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
Just ducktaped my beer to my bike. See you in ten.
I just found your spare underwear and the half eaten granola bar you left in my purse.
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
It was like god placed me in his bed and said," here's your shot girl. Don't mess this up." And I looked at god and laughed in his face.
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
Any time you can't remember a night, and you wake up in a sorority house, it's fucking worth it.
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
You chased a rabbit then knocked on a police car and asked the cop "if he saw where that little bastard went."
Randomize
