I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
He dyes his hair, fake tans and lies constantly. What did you really expect from him?
A better fuck for starters.
let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
im so drunk with asians
where?
always
A homeless guy asked you to feel your boobs, you accepted in exchange for his broom to go with your witch costume..... that's when I cut you off
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
You ever just wake up and decide, today I'm going to eat a whole bag of fritos and a tub of cream cheese
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
i can do like, 15 pushups. 20 if i listen to dubstep.
Don't be weirded out, but my bondage straps are made of my ex boyfriend's curtains
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
Randomize
