so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
Here's a fun fact your kittens ate my vomit last night
i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?
I hate you
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
My uncrustable is thawing in my straightener
I woke up spooning my guard tube. Tell me I'm not the most dedicated lifeguard ever
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
Just read the 12 signs you're a horrible roommate post and fucking in your roommate's bed wasn't on the list, so I'm a pretty awesome roommate.
Was just messaged by someone in a Power Ranger suit on OkCupid... Figured you would approve
It's a good thing vaginas don't have taste buds
I just put on lipstick to sext him. That should tell you where my love life is at.
OMG OMG OMG!!!! I made his penis bleed!! I repeat I MADE HIS PENIS BLEED!!!!
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