I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
She volunteers at a homeless shelter. You volunteered to drink 7 day expired milk for $3. No chance. Give up.
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
Starting the day with sex, coffee and productivity are what the founding fathers intended
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
I need to stop getting picked up at 3 am by my friends parents. This is the second time this week. I'm a grown man.
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
I was fingering her and they busted into my room demanding to know who the best running back was, before I could say anything she moaned and said "Barry Sanders"
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
I currently don't understand fingers.
she was all excited about us being eskimo sisters and then i was just like "alyssa i've literally been inside of you" and she got even more excited
Randomize
