Most awkward sex ever...
And im texting you in the middle.
Im starting to realize why people dont masturbate while driving
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
I just had to tell her that no she really doesnt need to sneak pizza from mcmurrays out in a plastic bag for me later
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
There's gotta be a happy medium between the guys who only want to sleep with me and the ones that respect me too much to try to sleep with me.
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.
Oh I see how it is...you can snap chat the world your balls but I wear dinosaur feetie pajamas and I'm the "weird one"
just stepped out my front door and let the wind dry my naked body because I was too lazy to go search for a clean towel that may not even exist. I could live like this forever
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