It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
For Halloween this year I'm gonna go as Angelina from Jersey Shore. I'm gonna yell "umm HELLO?!," cockblock someone, then leave the party early
Today I learned you can't titshake with a corset on.
Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
This is a great bar, except you can't even randomly burst into song without them assuming you're drunk and cutting you off.
Well his dad was his wingman, so I had to fuck him. I didnt want his dad to think that he was doing a bad job and I was drunk enough to think he was doing a good job.
Score one for dad.
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
Don't shower too much, need the shame to be fresh to get the best story
When you can't finish your jumbo margarita and figure pouring it into a to go box will suffice... Midnight snack?
Dude, you were so drunk you were hanging from the ceiling of my car pretending you were a sloth while we were on 81.
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
Randomize
