He had one of those small greek statue penises
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
Why do you keep getting laid in MY dreams
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
I'm still not sure if it was intentional, but the chiropractor definitely cradled his balls on my shoulder. He even seemed to adjust the sack for comfort. I think I should be flattered. He is a doctor, after all..
well I was pissed. first he yelled at me for having my own condoms, then he got mad when they didn't fit him. Dude, I only fuck magnum men.
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
I feel like you're gonna be reading this at 6 AM in a ditch or under a bridge, but please remember...I offered to drive you home. And you said no.
The sad thing is that it's 6:45 and you're not far off.
They think its so cute and admirable that I learned French. BITCH HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF GOOGLE TRANSLATE? sexting foreign bitches, there's an app for that
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
Dude, he turned on “London Bridge” by Fergie and GAVE ME A LAP DANCE.
Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.
Look, if it comes down to it, I’m spraying whipped cream on your nuts
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