Um, that's called prostitution
Not if I leave it on the nightstand, then it's called cab money
Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
No subtext here. People are naked.
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
I just blew my weed a kiss
I mean he gave me an 'I owe you an orgasm' fist bump
I woke up to a shattered My Little Pony garbage pail, a black eye I don't know how I got and no one will look me in the face. Fuck tequila.
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
I no longer need a flask. I need a canteen.
Hey, do you know the person who woke me up last night at 1 in the morning yelling and being carried through the courtyard?
That was me Mom...
I was sleeping and woke up in the bathroom already puking like i slept walk. Perrrrrrfect.
this is a mass text: the cage has been opened. repeat, the cage has been opened. a search party will be organized. you are all sloppy bitches. that is all.
Randomize
