but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
I was so high last night that i'm 89% sure my roommates set up an obstacle course for me and timed it. Not positive.. I think one of the challenges was pairing shoes
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
ETSY JUST SENT ME AN EMAIL WITH THE SUBJECT "SUMER ROMANCE" I'M BEYOND FUCKING DONE
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
This Asian instant coffee I found in ur kitchen is like crack. Who knew I could feel my heart beating in my asshole after one cup of this happiness.
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
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