i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
i asked a few people if they wanted to make pancakes with me but no one would. thats why i'm drunk by myself right now
You are like a prophet. It's amazing how many people you convince to be lesbians.
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
She gets me. First thing she said this morning "I'll buy breakfast if you can tell me my name."
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
It's Saturday night and I'm sitting on my couch by myself, watching Glee, and drinking gin and tonics. If you listen very closely, you can hear the wails of my mother giving up hope that I will ever give her a son-in-law.
I went to McDonald's this morning still half drunk with penises drawn all over my body, when my card was declined the cashier asked if I needed Jesus
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
The guy that stalks me just looked out his window and saw me in his neighbor's hot tub. Get your shit ready the fraternity wars are starting.
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
when I finally convinced you to get off the floor you looked at me wild-eyed and said "the carpet was a VAST EXPANSE OF SEA"
I want to disappear from this job like a fart in the wind.💨
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