let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
i think i should save myself the $200 for a prom dress. i mean why bother. its just going to be covered in vodka/jizz/and puke by the end of the night.
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
Man, I thought my dick was gonna fall off.
Dude, I didn't even think they made slap bracelets anymore. You okay?
I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
I asked for a steak knife but the waitress could see in my eyes it was a bad idea
Great news I took pics last night
Warning: most of them are of you peeing while I take selfies
If i ever die cab you make sure bag pipes are at my funeral they are awsome
Nothing like drunkenly buying a pregnancy test at 8 am to get out and realize your nip was out the whole time.
1. Everyone on the 1st and 3rd floor heard you. 2. The 3rd floor vibrates when we have sex. 3. The 1st floor can hear the bed squeak.
For one week of my life every time I pull my cock out I want the Jurassic Park theme music to start playing.
and eventually we just all took our pants off
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