ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
Clearly I understand physics better when I'm on cocaine
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
I'm drunk off vodka and I haven't eaten today. I've never felt more like Kirsten Cohen in my life.
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
"Grocery shopping" is really just a euphemism for spending $20 on enough frozen food to last 2 weeks and spending the rest of your viable paycheck on alcohol.
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
A guy just grabbed my balls before he shook my hand because he thought he knew me.
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
He was so wasted he lit his sink on fire with shit he found in his room....it was smokeless. Chemistry majors drunk = the coolest shit ever.
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
Honestly, you can’t tell the whole sorority he has a donkey dick and expect that no one would sleep with him after you broke up
Randomize
