Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
My parents showed me my IQ test from fourth grade, I'm shitting on my potential.
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
I am alternating between eating dry cheerios and mint chocolate chip ice cream with a fork. Please love me because no one else will
It's like, "you literally have no idea who i am but i definitely slept with your brother in your bed."
one of my coworkers wanted to look something up on YouTube on my tablet. I didn't know how to explain why my most recent search was "girl fucks dog."
Next time I take edibles I'm getting chipotle to cater the event
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
Guy from the bar last night left his number on my waterbill on the counter, at the bottom he put don't forget I can hook you up at Little Caesars I work their part time.
You sure know how to pick em.
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
Randomize
