are you still at the devil's house?
You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
I just need you there to slap my dick when im flirting with her
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
Better than last year. I didn't wake up to an after thanksgiving human shit on my living room floor. I think it's a sign I'm growing up at almost 30.
I think a kid would responsible me up
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
OHMYGOD I LITERALLY JUST FINISHED JERKING OFF AND MY MOM BUSTS IN AND HANDS ME A BABY WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON IN MY HOUSE JESUS H CHRIST!
Don't call police on the strange man passed out in his car in the driveway. I'll be home around noon to collect him.
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
Randomize
