Please don't use social media to get back at me.
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
Hey. Me and my buddy are drunk. you wanna give us tattoos of the hawaiian punch guy we shall pay very well. Seriously dude. no bull shit.
all time personal low: room service guy going "You want french fries AND onion rings???"
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
And then after we fucked he wouldn't stop calling me "champ". It was like I had sex with an extremely attractive soccer coach
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
I got the job! The hiring manager is the sister of a guy I slept with so its like I'm a real adult now
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
Randomize
