Alarm just got pulled in my exam
Swear it wasn't me
; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
i asked him to tell me something nice and he said "your vagina is really tight."
Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
im sitting in the back of my pickup eating an artichoke. please come find me, im scared.
that was a mass text, wasnt it?
He just asked me if I wanted a ride on the "bologna pony." I never wanna have sex again...
Apparently stumbling across interstate bridges is not cause for concern but screaming Wookie noises at cars is. Thanks, cops.
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
Randomize
