i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
my dad just beat the shit out of me cuz i blew my nose on one of my dirty t shirts and he saw it and thought it was cum.
I put my bosses number in my phone as "Do not call," I shouldve known my drunk curiosity would overcome any desire I had to keep my job.
again?
dude you made out with his girlfriend and stole his credit card to buy more drinks
well when you put it that way, I sound like a terrible person
Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
ARTHUR IS ON FUCKING NETFLIX THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
He just texted me asking for his shirt back and I said I didn't have it and then I ran into him 5 minutes later while wearing the said shirt
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
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