you started crying about dinosaurs being extinct
that's why i woke up holding that dina girls hand
she's a dina-saur
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
You just kept walking around saying "my brain is soup" then sat on the kitchen counter washing your feet. You bit the guy that tried to help you down
Who invented hangovers? And why did I make out with him and eat an entire can of chilli mixed with hot fries while screaming "YOU ONLY GRADUATE ONCE" last night?
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
I just gave myself a foot massage. #SingleAsFuck
Why were you doing tequila shots out of Boston Pizza dip containers?
I called to inform you I may or may not be getting laid tonight ...
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