How drunk are you??
I'm flawless.
she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
I knew something was wrong when santa got arrested
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
Today is going to be the longest game of "was that a fart, or do I need to go wipe?" I have ever played. Maybe the most challenging too.
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
Getting drunk at 9 am is not a super power.
You think that was bad? One time my parents found my sister half naked on top of the four runner in the garage. She makes me look like the good child.
Randomize
