Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
So, I'm about to rent a movie, order pizza, and use my vibrator.... Am I dating myself?
My Blind Date Arrived. She looks like something I'd draw with my left hand.
You're just mad because I look hotter in my mug shot than you do in yours
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
I don't listen when you talk. I just try to find new creative ways to get you to send me naked pictures.
I try new drugs instead of new boys. That way you can't scold me about the importance of condoms
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
i'm eating pizza lunchables and telling my boyfriend he can do better than me because i am a functional adult
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
Accidentally texted co-worker instead of bf “I’m wfh tomrw. Nooner? 💦”
What? No, wine isn't my weakness, I just love it.
Randomize
