The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
it hurts more in the daytime
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
The liquor store was handing out free shots of some new expensive vodka, but they caught on the fourth time we came back in different outfits. Politics.
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
I apologize for violently hooking up with her in front of you in the jacuzzi last night.
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
Promise me you will not let me do anything sexual with or to a mini horse no matter how drunk we get. Ever.
Today's hangover is probably top 3 of all time. Just threw up in an envelope. I'm on the ferry and didn't want to get out to puke over the side because I thought I might fall in the river.
He fed me jello shota while i was sitting on the toilet and then he peed in the shower
Randomize
