I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
im shotgunning beers in the kitchen. alone. the cat is judging me.
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
If you were awake I would probably ride my bike over, fuck you like a god, leave you in the wonders of life, and bike home
I didn't want to have shaved for no reason, so I told him I'd blow him if he would just come over and appreciate the smoothness of my legs.
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
Also- should we send out holiday cards? That say, "Eat a dick, 2014"?
Although can we find me a starter dick? I don't want security showing up again. That was awkward.
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
Yo I'm lookin at the cows. They're just fucking docile things
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