How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
I threw up red last night... I wanted to pinch myself because it wasn't green.
Sweetie, don't go home with him. You can do so much better. Everyone else at the bar agrees.
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
Dude. The only thing that I use less than my dick is my tennis racket. We need to play.
I need a conscience and I need it yesterday.
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
went out to hit golf balls, ended up doing splits at the bar. you're a bad influence.
His sister gave me the "if you hurt him I will break your neck" talk. I didn't know how to tell her we're not a couple.
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
Randomize
