You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
there is cereal in my wallet where all the cash used to be.
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
I feel like royalty, that girl from last night had a vajazzled vag. Bucket list complete.
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
my bowl and the doses are under your mom's passenger seat
repeat: THERE IS LSD AND THC IN YOUR MOM'S CAR. HELP ME HELP US AVOID FELONIES
well, I was going to forgive her anyway but not because shes my best friend and moreso because shes my drug dealer
i gave up on the vacation being fun the night i ate all the marshamallows out of the lucky charms while everyone else was having sex in the condo
Just so you know, I woke up with 2 oven mits in my bed and no clothes on.
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
They tried to get you to drink water and all you kept shouting was, "NO MORE LIQUIDS OF *ANY* KIND."
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
Randomize
