She is in my trunk
Strawberries are so good its weird that food is growable
Just cropdusted the office
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
I woke up hugging a loaf of bread and a water bottle this morning
My face left an imprint in the loaf...
she went apple picking. why dont we do cute things like that? let's go to a pumpkin patch!
because we're not cute. we're sluts. and sluts don't go apple picking.
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
i wish i could tell my students that all of their lessons plans were brought to them by captain morgan and diet coke. it's like seasame street, only for high schoolers being taught by a student teacher.
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
Found sauce from last night's pizza rolls wedged under my phone case... While sitting in my 8 am class. What happened last night?
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
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