: I need to find myself a plastic surgeon husband so i can get boobs.
but u need boobs to get one in the first place.
My mom came into my room and told me to flip off the tv. I gave it the middle finger. Note to self: STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT
Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
Hi, I just found this phone under my seat at a brewers game and seeing as you're entered in as 'fillllatio' I figured I'd ask you if you know the illiterate ass who owns this phone. Thanks :)
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
She wouldn't fuck me because I had a cast, so I took her friend home
Tequilla is a sneaky bitch ninja that doesn't kick in until you least expect it. Then BAM! You're peeing in unconventional places.
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
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