ya know if you hadnt broke up with me, that porno we made wouldnt have a 3.3 rating on youporn right now...
If i apologize for punching you in the liver repeatedly will you explain where the grass stains on my shoulders came from?
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
my mom just left...time to break out that water bottle of wine that I sewed into my teddy bear
It's take your daughter to work day... I really shouldn't be here right now
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
I almost rear ended this hot guy driving a Porsche Cayenne just so I could get his phone number
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
Had a job interview today. Walked into the room and said "IT'S GO TIME, BITCHES".
Randomize
