BEES IN MY FUCKING PANTS. HELP.
Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
Please tell me how you drunkenly remembered your social security number when we were checking you into the ER.
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
In my drunk state I was like I ONLY HAD SEX WITH SOMEONE ELSE BECAUSE HE WAS THE HOTTEST GUY IVE EVER EVEN SEEN
And tan into my neighbor in the elevator. She was going to the gym. I was covered in mascara and dog hair eating a hash brown
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
What does it mean when the government shuts down and your boyfriends wife wants a divorce ON YOUR BIRTHDAY?
Oh? And how would you explain this to your kids?
"Well pumpkin, when mommies and daddies have loved each other so much for a really long time, sometimes they trade off with other mommies and daddies"
Look, if it comes down to it, I’m spraying whipped cream on your nuts
Randomize
