I got so many pubes stuck in her braces that when she yanked her head, I cried out like that one girl you "accidentally" rear-ended last week. Bald spots are battle scars.
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
Apparently my downstairs neighbors don't much appreciate it when I do drunk aerobics at 3am on a Wednesday...
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
Random memory from the wedding, the bartender showed us how to open the windows and piss out of them.
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
Lying naked in bed eating carrot cake of off my bare breasts while watching Family Guy. Tonsilitis isn't all bad!
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
like, by the end of my shift people were asking if I'd sobered up enough to take a drink order yet. that bad.
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
What made you think singing Silent Night while I was puking was a good idea?!?!
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
Only good thing about being an essential worker is that I have a letter allowing me to cross the bridge into jersey to get booze
Randomize
