I am going to be in the room whjen you have your first child and spit on its face before its even all the way out of you.
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
I told him he was a man of science and that he should conduct experiments on my tits to see how they stay up. I need you to hold onto my larynx when I'm drunk.
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
I woke up with my wool blanket soaking wet on the dorm room floor, and my sweatshirt hanging on the shower door down the hall. So basically my camp-out-in-the-bathroom idea didn't turn out as planned
Everyone thinks it's an okay idea now until I'm overdoing it on the vodka/clubs, dancing on a table, trying to make out with the groom.
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
If you needed to get laid tonight all you had to do was ask
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