smell like capt'n and strawberry champagne
Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
I hid 4 bags of cocaine in your house. Have fun finding them
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
Yeah we can't find him. He left a note saying he left and isn't that drunk with what appears to be an attempt at the quadratic formula for proof. He also wrote down his number and left his phone by the note
Food lion is just a portal. Cheetos are the goal. Its like not banging a super hot chick cause she is french. She still has the same parts just from a different box.
Now I am going to fly my toy helicopter in the dark.
Just me. You're probably having sex with her right now, so here's a reminder that you should be thinking of me per our agreement.
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
All I remember is allowing my uber driver to pull over on the side of the road to give me a massage. I was alone
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
Randomize
