Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
We just got home. I got some malt liqour and a lottery ticket so I'm really doing a lot with my life right now
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
He leaned in to kiss me and I dodged him but i fell on the floor. I guess I never got up cuz I woke up on the floor and he was in his bed
I'm pretty sure getting a blow job behind a bar in Rome while her little sister is throwing up in a dumpster not 5 feet away, gives entirely new meaning to the phrase "When in Rome"
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
We'll get you some ice cream, but no sprinkles. Sprinkles are for winners.
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
I'm not gonna ask the guy I've fucked like 3 times if he is insecure about his eyebrows.
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
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