so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
From the trajectory of the puke, I must have fallen off the top bunk while trying to vomit, due to the dented bucket, ruined carpet, and bruised dignity I now own.
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
Yeah...I know. It's cute I think...I mean cute in a weird like hey I kinda took you home from the bar one night, maybe criticized your penis, and fucked your brains out...kinda sorta way
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
It's sitting in bleach right now. You will be the creepiest coolest dude in my book if you made a bracelet from my tooth.
"The cab driver felt bad for us so he stopped to buy us chocolates. That counts as a valentine!"
Woke up, moved an empty handle of fireball to spit blood, then put the morning cigarette out in it.
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
Randomize
