he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
Well if I am having twins, at least I'll finally have 2 kids by the same father.
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
i wasn't about to bring her gummy handcuffs to her father's funeral
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
You told me you loved me after I brushed your teeth with my index finger.
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
literally took my pants off in the middle of bourbon last night without taking off my heels im a super human i guess
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