No. I broke it. Note to self, never take a shower with your phone in your pocket.
soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
Lesson 1: you can't keep macking on a girl if you get handcuffed
I just found $40 in the jeans I wore last night. PS I also found the jeans I wore last night.
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
He came in like 30 seconds. That's how I know he hasn't been cheating on me while I've been gone
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
She's laying here with her head in my lap stoned, eating Doritos, whining about her boyfriend, and listening to Cher. Fuck the friend zone.
Santa was walking around downtown handing out stuff at the bars. He gave me a free eyebrow wax. I think he's trying to tell me something
The 12 year old son winked and made eyes at me while his father fed me vodka gummy bears. Gameday yo
Why do I have the 4 of hearts in my bra?
Haha we got sick of drinking on 4 is for whores so we stole the cards...I woke up with three of them in mine
drunken problem solving at its finest
He sent me a snapchat of him singing wrecking ball. Guess what the wrecking ball was. Hint: he literally came.
He caught me mid-escape...one leg out the window, bra n thong in hand.I just looked at him and said "Bye Now" n proceeded to fall out his window....then.... tell me why he texted me 30 min later to make sure i got home ok! #igotthis
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