so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
I was desperate and wasn't about to let my cereal get soggy so I ate it on the toilet. Don't let me repeat last night.
The part where he comes over and ignores you isn't what makes me mad about that story... It's the fact that he ate your tacos, AND THEN proceeded to ignore you. That's cold hearted.
Every time I try to do something productive I end up searching ghost porn.
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
My disney ticket is covered in lube, do you think they will accept it?
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
I left my red butterfly dildo laying on my bedroom floor this morning....my landlord is currently showing the house to people. Fuck can't ever face him again.
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
It was like Lady and the Tramp, but just tramp and the tramp. And instead of spaghetti and meatballs, we had whiskey and cups
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