Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
you insisted on breathalizing me with a inhaler.
I just fucked 3 marines at the same time...how did you celebrate veterans day?
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
Considering how much money I just spent on slutty lingerie, it is totally appropriate for me to be plucking my nipple hair right now. Right?
He won't let me go to the bars unless I can manage to get flip flops on.
Sounds like he's doing this for your own good...
Came home from this girls horse at 6am to find a guy lighting off roman candles in front of my door. Best walk of fame I've ever had.
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
I'll say this one last time. You are TWENTY FIVE YEARS OLD. You are not going to die alone and this is not the twilight of your life. Stop taking shrooms on your period!!!!
just woke up on the floor with a bottle in my hand. and by bottle, i mean a baby bottle. half filled with tequila.
dude it was our first time and her hair caught on fire from the candles on the nightstand
There is no way that actually happened!
the smell of burnt hair covered up the sweaty sex smell.
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