You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
I'm buying this stripper a house, I don't care what her name is.
here I sit at Southern Illinois' finest pubs and I thought I heard your laugh. I was sadly astonished to turn and find a midget cracking herself up reading the label on her can of chewing tobacco...
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
I'm going to make an art book filled with pics of me peeing in every bar bathroom I've ever been in. Dedicating it to you. You're welcome.
He answered his phone while he was eating me out and proceeded to yell at his wife for interrupting lunch...impressed or rock bottom?
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
Found a girl that was gonna make out with 25 people for her 25th birthday. I was like #12. Made top half!
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
Dude too much vodka. I think I just puked up my heart
That's what you get for taking that guy home. The god of sluttiness is frowning upon you.
Just sold our expired ticket for a free night of bowling to a drunk guy downtown for 50 bucks. Ill buy beer on my way home
Omfg I just White Claw shamed a Girl Scout Cookie mom and I feel SO BAD.
Randomize
