p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
I want a vodka facial right about now. I'm talking about straight vodka bukkake
i think i left a case of beer in your dryer
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
They called it unicorn pee, and i thought that was interesting so i drank it. Please don't let me drink strangers booze again.
Yeah, he has a kid now! Shit... You know you're all grown up when the people you used to have threesomes with become parents
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
I just gargled with NyQuil
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
Yay I only have ONE giant mystery bruise from yesterday
Great, now I'm picturing myself as a fucking garden gnome
Randomize
