you don't know how close you are to someone till they ask you to shave their ass.
i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
I'm watching a Sinbad stand up special. Not even drugs can make this funny.
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
You called in. Quitter. You stayed at home naked drinking again didnt you.
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
Dude... You called me at 3am to tell me you still had your pants.
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
I'm almost too hungover to function. Got into the wrong car by mistake. there was a rotweiler in it. Thank god he was more confused than i was for a minute.
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
HE’S PUKING UP BLOOD
okay all good I mistook strawberita for blood...
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