1:32 am: your girlfriend looks like a man
1:48 am: your uglier
Literally just as i started to cum the church bells next ot my house began to ring. either it was the most epic timing ever or god was watching and congratulating me
I understand Curling. That high.
all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
A girl just told me she printed out my pictures and taped them on her wall. I have to stop sleeping with virgins.
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
Send help, water and tortillas.
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
I just told my bowl "sorry" for putting it down, because I thought I hurt its feelings. omg. I'm high.
When my card got declined you bought the vibrator without me even asking. This is what friendship is.
Randomize
