wait so...it's like an actual thing to masturbate using the detachable shower head? WTF I thought I was being creative!
So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
This is a pre-sorry for hitting on and then sleeping with you're ex
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
I should never be allowed to dance around children at weddings. I think I just insured that a 4 year old will be a future teen mom.
Make me food? I don't want to be a science experiment. I'm dunk. Holy shit. Drunk*. Let's do science.
Sooooooo this guy just asked me if I'd be interested in a threesome... I'm considering bc I would get to hang out with his dog afterwards.
She handed me scissors and told me that they were the ones with the lowest probability of having been used to trim someone's pubes.
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
Randomize
