we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
Hey guess what I got for Valentine's day? Debt and blue balls.
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
Now have a vodka water and get your shit together
I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
Power went out. She lit a candle and gave me head. Made some pretty impressive candlelight cocksucking shadowpuppets. Must be what porn was like in olden times.
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
Yes, you can go into Petsmart drunk but the cats awaiting adoption don't appreciate the soft pretzels squeezed through their cages.
I'm sorry for drunkenly throwing a spoon at you and then laughing at your pain.
I just met a drunk old lady with a bedazzled life alert alarm around her neck. I love casinos
You were just laying there on the air mattress watching spongebob with a knife. We tried to take it from you, but you insisted it was your emergency escape in case you started to float off.
Randomize
