yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
It's like God shit irony all over that family
It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
If Megan asks I spilled my water water all over her. I pissed on your roommate. You're welcome. I expect you to keep that on the down low. Seriously tell her the water thing
Can we have a celebratory fuck now that the lockout is over?
You're the best girlfriend ever.
Just had to buy plan b w/ my robotic baby from family living.. Awkward.
And I'm only telling you that because I really wanted to use 'my boyfriend' and 'dick biscuit' in the same sentence.
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
I swear to god if I have to repeat this to you one more mother fucking time I will flip fucking shit and acidic rain will pour down upon your mother fucking soul
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
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