TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
Also, last night I had a dream that I was in a victoria's secret fashion show and they made me wear a t-shirt over my lingerie. Spring dieting begins now.
Only I would come home from a random banging with beer and watermelon
Just had a 40 min argument about how many celebrity guest appearances on Sesame Street were court ordered for DUIs.
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
GUESS WHO GOT ABSOLUTELY WASTED LAST NIGHT AND SPENT AN HOUR RAMBLING ABOUT KRAFT DINNER, HOCKEY, AND THE LAST TEMPTATION OF CHRIST
Sometimes the gods of alcohol choose to take you on a mysterious journey and you just have to go with it
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
My roommate made maccoroni last nigh dropped the bowl off the counter knocking it into the dog bowl he picked up the dog bowl and started eating it claiming it was te worst Mac and cheese ever and if he wasnt so high he would stop eating it hahahaha
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