for on dont try to tell me you love me after three weeks of talking, for two if you are going to do that stay away from the song lyrics to a very good country song that you happened to ruin by using it, and for three erase my number im fuckin your sister now
i felt like the dude nobody likes from the mikes hard lemonade commercial
talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
Just downloaded the entire Justin Bieber album sober.. I think you know how I'm doing.
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
After he convinced me that my friend had died and come back to life, I decided I was having sex with him that night, and that I should lay off the drugs for a while.
Everyone is slow dancing to Aerosmith. I am serenading a slice of pizza.
Some might say its sad that I am willingly picking up a coke habit to be the skinniest bridesmaid... I think it shows my great dedication and proves I should have been maid of honor.
Dear slutty diary: I lied about feeling guilty of being a homewrecker in order to have more sex. it worked.
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
New low: uploading my contacts into Facebook in an attempt to get the name of the girl I brought home last night.
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
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