This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
you were so drunk when the pizza guy got there you told him that you didn't have any money and would trade him the pizza for 3 Porno movies and he totally did it. I may never have to pay for pizza again
Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
Just so we're on the same page, we cannot have been the first people to have ever thought about shooting that guy with crossbow
A guy with no shirt on and a eyepatch just got out of the car beside me. After he slammed his door into mine. This is our hometown.
I feel like delivery guys should know that when you order lunch for one and answer the door wearing sweatpants, there's no need to say "Happy Valentine's Day."
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
We took a walk on the beach after the bar, he held my hand and kissed me. And then I peed under a lifeguard stand. It was so romantic.
Randomize
