how many beers do i need before it is acceptable to sleep with sam
enough that when i make fun of you for it tomorrow you wont even remember it happening
before smithy murders me i need you to know 3 things. 1) i got with smithy's little sister last night. 2) i will always love you like my own brother. 3) smithy's little sis digs anal.
i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
you kept saying "no santa, im not having sex with you. it's not your holiday".
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
Your cousin just asked the bartender to start a round of vagina shots. Not body shots. Vagina shots. We're taking her out more often.
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
It’s like a sexy version of those choose your own adventure books from when we were kids. No matter what you choose, there will be penis!
Randomize
