6:33 AM: I'm drunk at this time of morning.
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
Just found a 7-11 receipt for new years eve at 1:30 am apparently we felt the need to buy three jars of pickles and a gallon of milk does this ring any bells?
I'm also 95% sure I had a conversation with someone on how hard it would be to jerk off with out opposable thumbs
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
Also, I'm going to yoga because I have a Taylor Swift range of emotions right now.
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
Her son walked into the middle of the living room, took off his diaper, shit on the floor, smiled at me, and walked out, as if nothing happened.
So date night went well?
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
Not only do I have a well-defined bite mark on my arm, but I also have a perfectly clear bruise of a handprint wrapped around my arm like a tribal tattoo. Thoughts on how that happened?
yeah i'm making him "thanks for letting me befriend your toilet" cookies. wanna help? i'm sure you'll be making new friends too.
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