Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
I woke up with a solved rubics cube in my purse
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
I knew his night was already over when he started marking lines on the bottle and setting goals
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
I'll get him an axe as a present. So he can break out of his closet. That axe being my penis.
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
You went to a drug deal in a onesie.
Hey, you can never be fully sure you're straight until you jerk off to gay porn
i buy too many watermelons when I'm drunk
oh he pulled my dick out. wanna come over after he leaves
GET OFF YOUR PHONE
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
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