Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
another moral hangover. fuck.
you know i think I know why you are single...because you are real cute but then you open your mouth and let words come out and all goes to hell.
We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
I just sang Hey Jude with a homeless man and then we drank beer together. Then I watched asians take pictures under a xmas tree for an hour and fell asleep in an MGM Grand bathroom stall. #AloneinVegas
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
You put on some guys Birkenstocks that were abandoned on the dance floor overtop of your flats. Then ran out of the bar high gives the bouncer and said "look at my new kicks" then he was like woah wait a minute someone is missing those and made you return them. You were very upset
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
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