i just had sex bonerless
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.
Coming home soaking wet at three am and trying to convince the front desk man that we came from the library might have worked if I wasn't also roaring at everything.
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
Drinking gin at a party, riding a giant inflatable walrus all around the living room.
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
Get off me. I'm done. I want a cookie.
So I scratched the whole boyfriend plan and got wasted. Wanna try again tomorrow?
You know you have an interesting job when you go to work and have to Google search "How to get poop out of a dryer".
Legit just looked at the gin bottle and said, “Aw fuck, I’m going to feel this in the morning.”
Randomize