I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
I'm not giving my ex her earrings back. If some chick i hated gave me brownies i would still eat them. It's the same thing.
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
Someone just took a shot from my crotch. I should not have to drive home
blah blah blah they called me an alcoholic because I threw my beer at a Jesus freak. it was for the best
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
The spark has left our relationship. i used to make slightly inflammatory jokes at you. you would retaliate in jest. look at this. look at what is happening here.
Your car is in front of my house. Keys are in the mailbox. There is a fire hydrant in your trunk. Happy Birthday
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
I danced with this guy last night, I left like I was humped by a blind baby kangaroo trying to body-box.
Idk man, most things I eat are even better than I expected. Like when I drunkenly put mac and cheese on a slice of cheese pizza or when I soberly put mac and cheese into a Taco Bell burrito.
I'm trying to arrange "Flawless" to come on as soon as I get up to leave the room after my thesis defense. Bow down bitches indeed.
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
Randomize
