i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
Roman Polanski is more welcome at my daughter's birthday party than you are at that bar
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
admittedly, it's a little weird getting relationship advice from the mother of a former one night stand. but she's a wise lady and she buys me drinks, so i'm ok with it.
All i've had today is coffee and ketchup packets. I need a job like yesterday.
IDK DUDE BUT HE TIED IT WITH A SHOELACE SO I GOTTA FREE SHOELACE OUTTA THE DEAL. THIS GIVES A NEW MEANING TO LACED DRUGS
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
I wish on days I started my period Chipotle would come to my house with a burrito bar ... Then give me a chocolate cake and a large beer.
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
With 4 extra seconds dedicated to the dong.
These kind of text worry me.
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
I really need to get a comfy set of masturbating shoes
Dude, someone puked in my washing machine last night, I tried turning it on to clean it...not a good idea
Randomize
