U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
I have discovered something important. The trick to making food taste better is not always 'more hot sauce'.
You're pretty and everything..but you aren't worth the DUI
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
Apparently I mistakenly called the hair club for men at 3am... they called me back this morning.
I realized I'm gonna have to fit cheating on my gf, sleeping with my gf and having dinner with her parents all into one Sunday evening
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
Slap a cop in the butt for a felony charge. Check.
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
Going on a first date tonight...pros: my boobs look amazing. Cons: my abortion isn't until next week.
Randomize
