i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
I just ate a cashew that looked EXACTLY like your dick.
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
I hopped in a random dudes car outside the strip club at 3pm on a Sunday and said "Follow that car!"
I was just shot with a dart gun by one of my coworkers while walking to the printer. Ironically I was printing my resignation letter...
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
Deciding whether to take my sex toys home for Christmas will be the biggest decision I make this holiday season
Reasons why I'm always right: I am older, I am wiser, I have a larger penis
Settled one third of the tab. Am going back for sex. Love you, make friends
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
the best part is that i get to keep the pot plants and he still has my name tattooed on his ass
You just sent me an audio message of you peeing. That’s true love right there.
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
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