I hate your face
You gave me the wrong number last night so I texted someone else something I definitely shouldn't have.
So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
I ate the last cupcake. I'm sorry. It was in the refrigerator mocking me. So I ate it. And it was glorious. But I'm sorry.
There is not enough whiskey in the world to get me through what happened on Pretty Little Liars tonight.
First world problems.
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
I thought if I bought the most expensive pregnancy test I would look like I had my life together
Will Smith has a direct hotline to my emotions
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
Hey, remember that time a week ago when we walk-of-shamed literally down the Vegas Strip at 8:45am and I had one broken heel?
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
You fell while talking to a cop, then proceeded to acuse him of tripping you... he was arresting you for public intox.
If I die bedazzle my coffin please.
Randomize