You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
i just walked downstairs to find my brother wearing a crossingguards vest and boxers. when i asked him where he got it he just looked at me, smiled, and kept feeding the dog yogurt
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
Yeah I remember I tried to close her head in the freezer last night
when seducing a hipster, do you think taking a nude pic on a lomo-camera app would increase my chances? grainy off-colored boobs and telling him how much i like reading salinger?
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
A dry HJ only, please. I don't deserve the comforts of lube after my horrendous fantasy football performance
She shows up drunk at 3am for sex and then punches me straight in the eye in the middle of it because "you're too nice."
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
Who the hell tries to steal eggnog.
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