If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
My alcohol tolerance is way too high for this paycheck.
Well, I was going to ask you what happened to all my lipstick. Until I saw the giant red penis on my living room wall.
sorry about having a shotput competition with your microwave, seemed like a good idea at the time
I feel like I'm taking part in a surprise porno. At least my hair looked good.
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
I've figured out why I love winter sex. Because I make them leave the beanie on, and we all know I love a man in a beanie.
I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
I biked home blackout drunk last night, but I have some memory of throwing my bike in a rage when I couldnt get it down the stairs. No idea on the bright orange puke in the sink.
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
Randomize
