me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
Ever got a vibrator stuck in ur hair? Is worse that getting ur hairbrush stuck.
...well that sucks.
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background.
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
I'm instituting a new rule. If you wake me up at 3am about wrinkled blankets, I get to throat punch you
In related news, I couldn't want to blow you more if your dick made harmonica noises.
I got turned off after he said, "i can see us in the future...me, you, and a back yard full of alpacas."
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
..needless to say, i got fired. But I'm in the parking lot tanning on top of your car... so its not all bad.
It was all like "my feathers evolved from scales of a reptile bitches!!" and I was all like "damn this chocolate milk is AWW SOOME!"
Randomize
