The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
She wouldn't stop saying her own name. Like a damn pokemon.
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
When I tried to give you a hickey, you karate chopped me in the neck.
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
wait did i hook up with someone in mcdonalds last night?
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
Look, road flare archery was agreed on. We both accepted it was a shit idea sober, but did it drunk anyway.
No one can touch me, I'm made of fruit.
Randomize
