do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
You should have been there to see the look on her face when I told her that my dog gives better head than her. It was a beautiful symphony of shock, anger, and disbelief.
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
I don't care what anyone says I want strippers at my funeral.
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
You call it a hangover, I call it a baby squirrel burrowing its way out of my head.
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
Planning a foam party. Swimsuits are mandatory, and please no granny suits. If you wear a granny suit I will stick you in the corner and put a cone hat on your head.
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
Can we just agree for a moment that semen in your sinuses is the fucking worst?
You know it's a good night when the word slut is imprinted on your ass and your hands smell like lube.
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
Hi I love you will you be up for a while!
That exclamation point was a drunk decision
Randomize
